Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. We are most alive when we are in love. The only thing we never get enough of is love; and the only thing we never give enough of is love. There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved. Once we have a pretty good idea about who we are and what we stand for, we are ready to begin the journey of being ourselves in a relationship.
In a healthy, loving relationship you respect your partner’s boundaries. You give each other the space you need away from the relationship to be alone, to be with friends, and to pursue your own interests. Problems will inevitably arise during a relationship, but no one partner should call all or most of the shots. Rather than feel frustrated and angry when problems arise, it’s important to keep in mind that part of the commitment to a loving relationship is getting over your personal feelings and expectations in order to work out a solution that’s in the best interest of both partners. You encourage healthy communication and dialogue in a loving relationship.
What is a Toxic Relationship?
A toxic relationship is one in which two people don’t communicate or relate to one another in healthy ways, and where conflict easily arises. Toxic relationship meaning falls into a pattern that exhibit negative emotions where at least one partner causes harm in some way, whether purposeful or not. Sometimes that is intentional abuse in a relationship, or manipulative behaviors that can leave one partner feeling trapped or burned out on the relationship. It’s possible these behaviors were learned in childhood or experienced as an adult, and the expectation of any other behavior has not been established.
Someone can recognize a toxic relationship if there is a constant presence of ABCD
-Accusations
-Blame
-Criticism
-Demands
-Look for signs of toxic people- always demanding, criticizing and blaming.
Types of Toxic Relationship
Thumb Rule: Good relationships make you happy and fulfilled more times than they make you sad, depressed, or disappointed. Anything else likely has some shades of toxicity.
1. Abusive Relationship
Abusive relationships can be violent, but not all of them are. Some emotionally abusive relationships look perfectly normal on the outside. The abuser can be a professor, a doctor or a polished-looking office worker. Narcissistic Relationship have a grandiose sense of self -often not backed by reality-, and believe the world revolves around them. They are all about appearances and what others think of them. Narcissists also lack empathy.
2. Competitive Relationship
Great relationships are mutually supportive. One partner wins and they win for the team.
It stems from internal insecurity, and starts the competition to feel superior. One who engages in competitive devaluation have usually a fixed mindset and weak egos.
3. Emotional Roller Coaster
What really keeps people in a toxic relationship? It’s a roller coaster effect. When a toxic relationship can drag you down, down, down and then take you up, up, up, that’s extremely addictive to our brains. Some people fall for the power addict because they confuse their steam-rolling approach for strong leadership.
Signs of Toxic Relationship
The line between healthy and unhealthy relationships can be quickly crossed and it may be difficult to identify, even with signs of a toxic relationship that might seem obvious to others.
a) Lack of trust
A partner is someone for you to rely on, to be vulnerable with, and to have in your corner. In the absence of trust, none of these things are possible. Without trust, and not just trust that their partner will be faithful, but trust that their partner will behave in the best interest of the agreements of the relationship, there cannot be a sense of security.
b) Love Bombing
Love bombing can feel like an explosion of affection in a good way, it can actually be a harmful behavior meant to manipulate you and make you become dependent on the love bomber.
c) Hostile Communication
Hostile Communication includes Yelling, name calling, throwing and breaking things or using your body for physical intimidation. It’s a form of disrespect for the partner in the relationship.
d) Controlling Behavior
One thing in controlling behavior is to look out for is threatening loss of something, such as financial instability, companionship or time with your children. These threats strike fear in many people and I find these are the reasons many, many people stay in unhealthy, unhappy relationships even when wishing for the relationship to end. Other signs of a toxic relationship controlling behavior include telling you what to do or what not to, trying to manage your money, secluding you from your loved ones or requiring access to your personal devices etc.
e) You Find Yourself Making Excuses For their Behavior
When your partner behaves different with you or not so loving way, you automatically fall back into mentality of finding reasons as to why would they treat you this way and all the time you make yourself guilty for their irrational behavior.
f) Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a manipulation technique that makes you question your own feelings, instincts, and sanity.
Someone who try to gaslight you may insist something you remember never happened and tell you they never said something when you clearly remember it. e) Fear and Intimidation
An abusive partner might explode with rage or use intimidation tactics, such as slamming their fists into walls or not allowing you to leave the house during a fight. Before getting into a relationship do look out for signs of toxic people- they often carry the above issues with themselves.
How to Leave a Toxic Relationship?
To leave a toxic relationship, you should:
– Build your social support
– Explore ways to become more independent
– Lean on family, friends, and others as you are leaving
– Get help from professionals, including a therapist, attorney, or law enforcement
– Cut off contact with the other person
– Care for yourself as you transition out of the toxic relationship
– Toxic people are very cunning and can use emotional blackmail to lure you back in. When you make the decision to leave your partner, stop any form of communication with them unless you have children and need to co-parent. In this case, only communicate about the children. Toxic relationship meaning is not only negativity or harm but any relationship that brings discomfort in your life is not good for you.
How to Move on from Toxic Relationship?
One can follow few tips to move from Toxic Relationship-
– Accept that the relationship was toxic
– Realize that you deserve healthy love
– Keep a Journal of your emotions
– Make a detailed plan
– Cut off contact
– Don’t wait for an apology or closure
– Embrace forgiveness
– Fill the void and surround yourself with positivity
Remember, moving on is never easy. Keep your doors and windows open. If the person is meant to be in your life, all the open doors and windows in the world, will not make them leave. Trust the truth.
Frequently Asked Questions About Toxic Relationships
What is a Toxic Relationship?
A toxic relationship is one in which two people in relationship don’t communicate with one another in healthy ways or show signs of toxic behaviour, thus arising conflicts in the relationship
How to know if your relationship is Toxic?
No relationship is perfect, but toxic relationships comes with unique ability to bring out the worst in you.
- You are being disrespected
- You don’t feel valued
- You give more than you get
- Your self-esteem is deteriorating
- You or your partner might be passive-aggressive
- You feel alone in relationship when you are together
- You bring out the bad qualities in one another
- You feel depressed or anxious
- Any sort of Physical Aggression
The above is not the conclusive list for signs of a Toxic relationship, but one can look out in above if they find themselves in one such relationship.
Do Toxic Relationship last?
It is possibly making toxic relationship last if both partners are willing to mend a toxic relationship in certain instances – and when each partner is committed to trying. The relationship must become healthy and mutually beneficial for any potential to continue.Communication is the best way to amend the relationship and both the partners are willing to work on it.
Can a Toxic person Change?
It truly depends on that person. The person with the toxic tendencies won’t change for anyone, only themselves. It is a choice they have to make to correct the toxic behaviour they have, but a lot of them stay in that habit because it’s easy.
How to end a Toxic relationship?
Toxic relationships are always hardest to end because toxic people are well versed manipulators, the moment you try to leave, they might threaten you or softer tactics such as love bombing.
So, one must be well prepared to not entertain their partner toxic behaviours.
Can a Toxic Relationship be true love?
A true is giving and free. Any relationship that holds you and brings the worst out in you cannot be true love.
Why do relationship become Toxic?
A toxic relationship can be result of imperfect pairing or pairing the non-compatible ones that drain each other’s energy most of the times and bring out the worst in each other.
